Children respond to the general atmosphere set in the home by the attitudes
of their parents. If you look at moving as an exciting adventure full of new
possibilities, then chances are very good that you will infect your children
with enthusiasm and anticipation.
Many times we forget that making more money or moving to a larger home is
not a change that children will understand. The younger the child, the less
able they are to "see into the future" as you do. They tend to focus
on losing the security they already know, along with missing friends and family.
Your job is to turn the sadness and doubt into happiness. Ask yourself what
advantages there are for the child in the move. For example, will the family
be closer to Grandma, the ocean, or another favorite person, place, or activity?
One of the easiest ways to turn an unhappy frown into joy and excitement
is to communicate frequently. Let your children know, step by step, what is
happening and what is likely to happen next. Tell them what the move means
to the family -- how important it is that Mommy got a big promotion or that
Daddy is opening a new office for his company, and how other aspects of the
move will be good for the child.
Be ready for those "What about me?" questions by researching schools,
churches, activities, and community amenities in advance, and offer your child
choices and ways to participate where it is appropriate. Whenever possible,
look up information on the Internet, or have your agent e-mail, fax, or mail
vital information about the community so that you and your child can plan
where to go and who to meet in order to help ease the transition into new
activities and surroundings. Contact organizations with whom your child is
already associated or with whom he or she has an interest, and ask for referrals
to your new city. Knowing they won't have to give up favorite hobbies or sports
goes a long way toward helping children adjust.
Making contacts with future friends, classmates, and fellow hobbyists can
also go a long way toward helping your child's transition to a new home and
environment. See if your agent, other transferees, or family can put you in
touch with other children your child's age so that a chat room or e-mail friendship
can begin.
Your Realtor should be able to show you your home either through e-mail,
the local MLS service, or Realtor.com. Have your Realtor take pictures of
your home and send them to you. Have fun by showing your child the new house
plans, or draw them yourself and let your child cut out furniture and toys
to place in the rooms. Show your child a typical day in the home as you go
from room to room. Draw a map, and show how close Mommy and Daddy work, where
schools are, where Aunt Bea lives, and other points of interest to help them
orient themselves in their new surroundings.
If time and finances permit, take your child on a trip to visit your new
city and home to get acquainted. If that's not possible, get on the Internet,
and show him or her the city, neighborhood, and home where you'll be living.
Most cities have Web sites available that offer a wide range of information,
so you can plan activities for after your move, such as visits to the theater,
a visit to the local zoo, or a trip to a local restaurant that serves your
child's favorite food.
Allowing your children to participate as much as possible makes the time
they spend anticipating the move pass more quickly. Keep them occupied by
letting them plan and pack a box or two of their special things. Consider
their input on new decor and the layout of their new rooms. Encourage them
to take the time to exchange good-byes with friends and loved ones and get
addresses, e-mail addresses, and phone numbers to stay in touch.
While you are preparing for the move, try to stick as closely to your normal
routine as possible, and let your children know that, although they will soon
live in a new house, the rules of the household will still be the same. Bedtime
is still at 9 p.m., and homework must still completed before TV time is allowed.
And although Mom and Dad are a little busier and distracted with the move,
they love their children very much and are giving the entire household a new
opportunity to grow.
On moving day, have a bag packed of personal belongings for each member of
the family, being careful to include medications, clothes, and personal items.
Let your children choose what amusements and favorite "loveys" they
wish to take along, and reassure them they will see their other favorite toys
when they arrive in their new home.
Your preparedness will go a long way in reassuring your children that their
needs are being considered.
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About the
Author
Since 1989
"dan the roommate man" has helped 1000's of people find roommates.
Need help?
Contact him at 800-487-8050 or www.roommateexpress.com
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